Children are blessings. That is why
a big family is common in the Filipino tradition. More or less most Filipinos
have 3 or more kids. Some people when they heard that a married couple has 4 or
5 kids, they will ask “How can you manage? Isn’t that hard?” If they can imagine having 4-5 kids as
difficult how much more if they have more than that?
I
came from a big family. I have three siblings. My mother has 4 siblings. And my
mother’s mother (grandmother) has 13 siblings. Shocking, right? So imagine a
scenario wherein you are walking down the street in your province and you pass
by people or teenagers, and you are not even aware that they are your cousins
or your aunts and uncles. That is one of the problems when you have a big
number of relatives, you are not even aware that you are related. Albeit,
having a big family is hard, the happiness you can acquire from just having a
big family is different. The completeness, the joy, the simplicity of life. That
just by having a bonding with them is enough to feel complete. Having a big family has its advantages and
disadvantages.
Large
families has a high probability of having children who were not able to finish
their education. Because most of the income of their family is spent on their
basic necessities like food, water and electricity, thus little amount of money
is provided for their education. Moreover, they cannot provide enough
satisfaction to the needs of their children.
There
is a possibility that their house would be crowded, they would hardly have any
privacy since there are lots of people in the house. They have more expenses
since there are a lot of them in the family. Moreover, their money is on a
strict budget so that it will accommodate all of them, they also cannot save
money because most of the time the money is just exact for their needs and
sometimes it is not enough.
There
is not enough time for everybody. The children has not given enough time and
attention to be taken care of. A lot of work to assure all children grow up to
be good people.
On a
brighter side, there are lots of large Filipino families that, albeit their
crowded number they find it more
enjoyable and satisfying. There are a lot of members in the family, so they
don’t need to gain more friends to enjoy life, just the mere presence of one
another is enough. Specifically, they
are never alone.
Yes,
in a large family there is a big tendency to have a lot of fights, but even in
their normal fights, squabble or spats, the mere interaction of the parents
being the mediator or arbitrator teach them the life lessons and values like
being fair, generous, respecting individual differences, forgiving and
forgetting. These kinds of interactions strengthen their morality and lifelong
conscience, in every bad thing there is always goodness within.
Their
parents take care of their needs but cannot satisfy their wants because their
money is limited, they learn the difference between what they need and what
they want, they are able to prioritize the things that are important and not. They
work hard so that they can get what they want, they learn the value of values
through the experience. Thus they learn to stop gratification and learn to
value everything they worked hard to earn. They learn virtues like patience and
determination. They became individuals that can rely on their own, they can
conquer the external world with dauntlessly and confidently.
Additionally,
they learn to respect individual differences through their interactions with
their siblings, thus making them more open-minded and prepared to get along
with anyone. Having the chance to share everything like rooms, bathrooms or
spaces with their siblings help them learn the value of generosity and abnegation.
They learn the importance of
responsibility through household chores. As a result, they grow with
self-knowledge that accompany them knowing their strengths and limitations and
they will grow as mature individuals.
That is why my grandmother learned
lessons in life that wasn’t taught in school, that wasn’t gained from material
things and luxury in life. They learned lessons that nobody can teach them
other than their family. Love, care, happiness, selflessness, and lifetime
values can only be gained from your family. After all, number is just a
numerical value, in the end how parents
create and give loving atmosphere at
home comes family satisfaction.
